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Blog EntryJan 27, '12 12:32 AM
for everyone

This post might become what Prof. Mer would call "mainstream topic", but I have to write about this anyway :D 

Related to the horrific car accident happened a few days ago, I experience a lot of emotions, different judgments, endless meta-cognition, going on inside of me. I try to feel and understand each and every position involved in the situation, and feel miserable, heartbroken and a lot of despair, in different scale and different "tone". 

I'm thinking a lot about the mothers. Simply because I'm one of them and it's easier for me to put myself in the position and also to articulate the feelings. But I'm not going to talk about how the feelings of the crash victims' mothers. I'm surprised that I put a lot of sympathy to the mother of the driver (who drove recklessly under the influence of drugs and cause 9 people killed and 3 others badly injured, GRRRR). 

There's another surprise. Mother (yes, my mother) said that she understands how the driver's mother feels, but mother, and doesn't feel sorry at all. NOT AT ALL. 

Mother said that it's all the driver's mother's fault. When something goes wrong with a kid, it's all his/her mother's fault. OMG.

This really frighten me and makes me think that being a mother is the hardest responsibility I have ever had in life. *screaming in horror*

Still don't have opinion about this, I will just pray *and screaming in horror*


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merlyna wrote on Jan 31
i don't know how to comment. i have my own opinion about this circle (mother-child, responsibility, blame).. but i guess being a non-mom, i tend to avoid any deep/detailed conversation around motherhood. simply put, i do think mother is generally responsible for their children's behavior, when the children are 'child'.... but grown up adults should have been responsible for their own acts and consequences.
btw, the subject matter is perhaps mainstream, your angle is not :) but anyway, what's wrong with connecting to mainstream subjects anyway?
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cryptocodecg wrote on Feb 1
prof. mer, i had always been thinking of it exactly that way, until mom said otherwise hihih

i just sensed (from our last talk) that being mainstream is not cool, hihihhh (so what's so important about being cool anyway, hahahaaha)
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tkmaia wrote on Feb 1
its like nurture nature debate, what influences what and when, its very complicated :)
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cryptocodecg wrote on Feb 1
tkmaia said
its like nurture nature debate, what influences what and when, its very complicated :)
this answer makes me relieved, hihih
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merlyna wrote on Feb 1
having said that (my statement about grown up adults) i didn't imply that the act(s) of grown up adults isn't influenced by how they're raised. certainly how i think/behave/act is still influenced by my life experiences (incl. childhood's). but childhood's experience isn't the only driver... and mom certainly wasn't the only person shaping my childhood experience. complex, indeed.

oot, i thought if i were a parent i'd be more horrified if my child committed a crime consciously (harming others without being under the influence of drug)....
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tkmaia wrote on Feb 1
A person who does it consciously maybe drugged since childhood by malformation of the frontal lobe decision making process genetically or physiologically speaking, so I dont know if any which one can be better cause its another complex process one, but I hope my kid just don't do that or be killed by that or I will faint, lose sanity if not die heart-attack or a combo of all!

Anyway I think if you are adult you have to be responsible for your own actions, not your mom/dad, there should be a line on that (imagine if someone killed someone and the law then dictates the mom grandma and great grandma, neighbor be put to jail too cause there is theory that says your action is thus genetically and socially related, or event he reverse since you cannot draw a clear line even the killer is set free, you can do that, but its a choice what do we want our society to be?).
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cryptocodecg wrote on Feb 8
merlyna said
oot, i thought if i were a parent i'd be more horrified if my child committed a crime consciously (harming others without being under the influence of drug)....
being parent is sometimes feels like killing you, hihi

whichever ways, if my kids committed a crime, i'd feel horrible. helppp! :D
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cryptocodecg wrote on Feb 8
tkmaia said
A person who does it consciously maybe drugged since childhood by malformation of the frontal lobe decision making process genetically or physiologically speaking, so I dont know if any which one can be better cause its another complex process one, but I hope my kid just don't do that or be killed by that or I will faint, lose sanity if not die heart-attack or a combo of all!

Anyway I think if you are adult you have to be responsible for your own actions, not your mom/dad, there should be a line on that (imagine if someone killed someone and the law then dictates the mom grandma and great grandma, neighbor be put to jail too cause there is theory that says your action is thus genetically and socially related, or event he reverse since you cannot draw a clear line even the killer is set free, you can do that, but its a choice what do we want our society to be?).
ini udah kayak baca essay science. thx bu tkmaia, very well arguments! (but i still feel i'm the only one who's responsible about the kids from birth til forever, of to get rid of that? :D )
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